A Seattle IANDS Near-Death Experience Story

Change your energy and change your world
by Anita Moorgani

Seattle IANDS is grateful to NDERF (the Near Death Experience Research Foundation) and to Anita Moorgani for permission to make available her near-death experience on our website. Minor editing has been done to combine the varieties of source material available from NDERF about Anita Moorgani's near-death experience into our single presentation format.

Growing up in Hong Kong I attended British private schools for my entire schooling, as this used to be a British colony up until 1997. After I finished my Hong Kong schooling, I continued educational studies in Manchester, UK. I later returned to Hong Kong to take up a senior management position in a French fashion company. In 1995 I married someone who shared a very similar background as myself - a fellow ethnic Indian, born and raised in Hong Kong, with no real attachment to our parents' native country. Since then I have been living and working in Hong Kong.

In April 2002 I had a needle biopsy done on a swollen lymph gland at the base of my neck where it meets my shoulder on my left side. The results indicated I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. A scan then preliminarily staged it at 1A; however more tests needed to be done. My best friend had just died of cancer - she had had a sarcoma in her chest area. The sarcoma had been removed surgically and then she was given chemo. Her physical condition deteriorated very badly after starting the chemo, and continued to deteriorate until she died. Her family felt very strongly that it was the chemo that had killed her, not the cancer. I was with her through her experience, and watched her suffer through her chemo experience, which was horrific, and then I watched her die. This was a friend whom I had known since grade school, and we had grown up together. When I was then subsequently diagnosed as having cancer, the same year she died, I was shocked, as were a lot of people in our circle of friends. I was very, very afraid of chemo, so refused treatment, and went to see a naturopath who specialized in cancer treatment. At first, the swollen lymph nodes seemed to be shrinking, and we felt the therapy was working, and I was very happy that I would not have to have chemo. But although the lymph nodes got smaller, they did not disappear completely.

I was living in a lot of fear at that time - fear of the cancer and fear of chemo. I cleaned up my diet, did colon therapy and took all the pills the naturopathic doctor gave me. In 2004 the lymph nodes seemed to be growing again, so the doctor changed my therapy and sent me to an herbal specialist. Again, the cancer seemed to come under control for a while. But around one year later I started to develop fluid in my chest area, and my left arm became swollen. Then my glands became increasingly swollen until January, 2006, when my health deteriorated dramatically in a span of 2 or 3 weeks. My breathing became more and more labored. I was always out of breath, and I needed to carry a portable oxygen machine. I lost weight and could not eat, because I felt full all the time. My muscles were deteriorating to the point where I could not walk and I began using a wheelchair. I had skin lesions which were oozing. By February 2nd I could no longer open my eyes, and could not move or get out of bed, let alone walk. I just accepted that this was it, I was going to die, and I completely let go. I did not feel any pain, or discomfort. I was not on any medication at that point - just a state of total release.

That morning my husband rushed me to the hospital. My feet and hands were swelling like balloons, and my face was already swollen. At the hospital scans showed the lymphoma had spread throughout my body, and that my organs were compromised. I was diagnosed with grade 4B Hodgkin's Lymphoma, the highest grade.

During this time I was drifting in and out of consciousness, and I could actually feel my spirit leaving my body. Physically I was not awake, my eyes were closed, but out of body I could "see" and "hear" everyone in and around the room with greater awareness than normal. I was also aware of another dimension that seemed to exist simultaneously. I was able to watch and hear the following discussions going on between my husband and the doctors 40 feet down the hallway. This was well beyond my normal hearing range.

The senior oncologist I was assigned to told my husband: "It's too late. Her organs have already shut down. She is dying of organ failure. She has 36 hours to live. There is nothing I can do." She was very annoyed with my naturopathic doctor, and felt it was "his fault" that I was going to die. After listening to my husband's pleas, she assigned me to another oncologist. The new oncologist took a slightly different approach. "I can't promise anything. I'll see what I can do. However, the next 24 hours are critical. She is too unstable to even perform a biopsy on to determine what drugs to inject. We'll also begin to run the tests right away on her organ functions as all symptoms seem to indicate failure." I later verified these conversations with my shocked husband word for word.

They started me on a chemotherapy drip, as well as oxygen, and then began tests, particularly on my organ functions, so that they could determine what drugs to use. I could see all these needles poking into me, and I was also connected to a food tube, and something that monitored my heart, pulse, blood pressure, etc.

At this point I left and "crossed over" into another dimension. I was totally engulfed in a feeling of love. I immediately experienced extreme clarity about why I had the cancer, why I had come into this life in the first place, what role everyone in my family played in my life in the grand scheme of things, and generally how life works. The clarity and understanding I obtained in this state is almost indescribable. Words seem to limit the experience. What I saw, perceived, and felt, and the clarity I experienced about life, was more than anything we are able to conceive. Words have not been created to describe this.

I was at a place where I now understood what a gift life was, but that we don't realize it. I realized how much more there is than we are able to conceive of in our 3-dimensional model of reality. I was shown that I had been surrounded by loving spiritual beings, who were always around me even when I did not know it. I understood that we are very, very loved, no matter what, and that we do not have do anything or prove ourselves to god to deserve this love.

I know I was drifting in and out between the two worlds, and every time I drifted into the "other side," I was shown more and more scenes. There was one which showed how my life had touched all the people in it - it was sort of like a tapestry about how I had affected everyone's life around me. There was another scene which showed my brother on a plane, having heard the news that I was dying, then coming to see me (this was verified to me later when I started to come around, and I found my brother in my room, having just gotten off a plane!). Another scene showed me a glimpse of my brother and me, and somehow I seemed to understand that this was a previous life, where I was much older than him and was like a mother to him (in this life, he is older than me). I saw that in that life I was very protective towards him. I again became aware that he was on the plane to come and see me, and I felt "I can't do this to him – I can't let him come and see me dead!" Then I also saw how my husband's purpose was linked to mine, and how we had decided to come and experience this life together. If I went, he would probably follow soon after.

The amount of love I was feeling in this dimension was overwhelming, more than anything I have experienced on earth. From that perspective, I knew how powerful I am, and saw the amazing possibilities all of us as humans are capable of achieving during a physical lifetime. I found out that my purpose now would be to live "heaven on earth" using this new understanding, and also to share this knowledge with other people. However, I had the choice of coming back into life, or going onwards into death. I was made to understand that it was not my time, but that if I chose death, I would not be experiencing a lot of the gifts that the rest of my life still held in store for me.

One of the things I wanted to know was that if I chose life, would I have to come back to this sick body, because my body was very, very sick and the organs had stopped functioning. I was made to understand that if I chose life, my body would heal very quickly. I would see a difference in not months or weeks, but days! I was shown how illnesses start at an energetic level before they become physical. If I chose to return to life, the cancer would be gone from my energy field, and then my physical body would catch up very quickly. I then understood that when people have medical treatments for illnesses, that it rids the illness only from their body but not from their energy, so the illness returns. I realized that if I went back, it would be with a very healthy energy. Then the physical body would catch up to the energetic conditions very quickly and permanently. I was given the understanding that this applies to everything in our lives, not only illnesses – but physical conditions, psychological conditions, etc. I was "shown" that everything going on in our lives was dependent on our energy that is created by ourselves. Nothing was solid - we created our surroundings, our conditions, etc. depending on where this "energy" was at. The clarity I received about how we get what we do was phenomenal! It's all about where we are energetically. I was made to understand that I was going to see "proof" of this first-hand if I returned to my body.

I was made to understand that if I chose life, that the tests taken to determine my organ functioning capability would show that my organs were functioning normally. If I chose death, the results would show organ failure as the cause of death, due to cancer. I was given a vision of the lab report that would result from this choice. On the heading it said Diagnosis: Organ Failure Then in the body of the report it said: Death due to organ failure caused by Hodgkin's lymphoma. I would be able to change the outcome of these tests by my choice!

During my NDE I was surrounded by many beings, including my father and my best friend who had died from cancer four years before. There were other beings there I did not recognize, but I knew they loved me very much and were protecting me. I became aware that they were there all the time, even when I was not aware of it. There was a moment in the spiritual dimensions when my best friend who had passed on said to me very clearly, "You have come to the edge. This is as far as you can go." She told me that if I continued onward I would not be able to turn back. I needed to choose now between a life in spiritual realms or life on earth. Then my friend at the edge encouraged me, "Go back and live your life fully and fearlessly." I made my choice.

When I woke up the next morning I was in a confused state, as I could not tell which side of the veil I was on. Gradually I began to feel slightly more grounded in this world than that one, and that was when the doctors came rushing into the room with big smiles on their faces saying to my family, "Good news – we got the results and her organs are functioning – we can't believe it!! Her body really did seem like it had shut down!" I was still a bit fuzzy, and said something like, "Oh, I thought we knew that already." My brother arrived, just as I had seen that he would, having been on a plane overnight. By that evening I was really awake and ready to sit up. My whole family started celebrating. Within 4 days my progress was remarkable, and I was transferred from ICU to a normal private room. Later, when I actually saw the lab report, the sheet of paper looked almost identical to what I had been shown in my NDE. The heading matched word for word. Diagnosis: Organ Failure However, the body read: There is no evidence of organ failure. I actually got goose bumps looking at that report, knowing what it could have read.

The doctors had been waiting for me to become stable before doing a lymph node biopsy to determine the type of cancer cells I had. But when I was sent to do the lymph node biopsy, the radiologist could not even find a lymph node big enough to suggest cancer (upon entering the hospital my body had been filled with swollen lymph nodes). However, the oncologist pushed him to mark a lymph node on my body anyway, which they biopsied and found nothing. They also did a bone marrow biopsy to find cancer activity so they could adjust the chemotherapy, but they found no cancer in the bone marrow. Each time I knew the test results were going to be negative, because I had been made aware all this would happen. Since it now looked like I was going to make it, the doctor called for a wound specialist to look at my skin lesions. When he first looked at them (one on the neck and one under the arm), he said that surgery would be needed as the skin had been "eaten away", but he would wait until I became stronger. However, my wounds healed miraculously over the weeks and never needed surgery.

The doctors were very confused. The oncologist, however, still wanted to run tests so that he could determine what chemo drugs to use. But since he could not find indications of cancer, he said this was because I was responding extremely well to what he was currently using. So he decided to keep giving me that. I said that if the cancer seemed to be gone, why did I have to keep having the chemo? But he insisted, even though my recovery was remarkable, that he had to be sure to give me at least the minimum number of cycles because of the state I was in when I had arrived. He said he originally thought I would need a lot more cycles, but was now reducing it drastically to the minimum he gives which is six. I don't know why, but I did not suffer major side effects from the chemo. I was so charged by my NDE, it was as if nothing was going to get me down, and I had now lost my fear of chemo, and knew that I was going to be fine - better than fine.

Within days after my NDE, as soon as I was well enough to talk, I started sharing my experience with my close family members - my husband, my brother and my mother. We were all very emotional and in tears. They were all shocked with my account of events, including the test results which I knew would be normal because I chose to come back, and the conversations I had "heard". Then they saw the speed of my recovery, and the shock of the doctors who could no longer find any trace of cancer - it has changed my whole family. I also shared what happened with a close friend who was with me in the hospital during this experience, and it has changed her life too.

Going out and meeting people after I left the hospital changed a lot of people, because the last they had seen or heard of me, I was on my death bed! I had looked very, very sick, and could not walk or breathe properly. Now I looked totally healthy and normal. The first time I walked into a group gathering after leaving the hospital, everyone's jaw dropped. They looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. They could not believe how quickly I had recovered - everyone thought I was going to die! Then I shared my experience with everyone in the room, and all of them believed me because they had seen the "before" and the "after". Some of them said I had changed their lives.

Because of my experience, I am now sharing with everyone I know that miracles are possible in your life every day. After what I have seen, I realize that absolutely anything is possible, and that we do not have to suffer. Life is supposed to be great, and we are very, very loved. The way I look at life has changed dramatically, and I am so glad to have been given a second chance to experience "heaven on earth."

Changes

One thing that has happened is that I have become closer to my family. However my social circle has changed. A lot of my friends have drifted away from me, although a small handful have become closer to me than ever, and I have made a lot of new friends since this experience.

I have also felt much more intuitive since this experience, as though I'm very "connected" in a way I have never been before. Sort of "guided." Many, many more "coincidences" have been occurring in my life since the experience (hence the "guided" feeling). Things have been falling into my lap when I have wanted them, the right people call, I have been bumping into the right people, getting e-mails which answer questions I need answered, etc.

I was never very religious before this experience. I still don't believe in any particular religion. However this has strengthened my belief in spirituality my faith in the afterlife, and the power of our own higher self (soul). When I wish to I can go back to that "connected" feeling of being loved, and feel the other beings surrounding me, particularly when I am sitting still in a quiet environment.

I don't feel afraid of anything anymore. I know I won't die until I complete everything I came here to do. And even then, I am not afraid of death.

Learnings

I had read about NDEs, but never expected to experience one. My NDE felt completely different from anything I have read because there was no light, tunnel, no religious figure, and I did not see my whole life flash before my eyes. While I was experiencing it, I had no idea that I was experiencing an NDE or an out of body experience. It felt very normal at the time. It was only later that I realized I had slipped into another dimension.

One of the things I've realized is that time is very different in that spiritual dimension where I was. It felt as though I was there longer than I really was. All that I saw and learned would have taken a lot longer in this dimension.

Another thing I learned was that all possibilities exist simultaneously. It just depends which one you choose. Sort of like being in an elevator, where all the floors of a building exist, but you can choose which floor to get off on.

Because of my NDE I know that a lot more exists than we are consciously aware of or capable of understanding. Each day I discover that there are things I now feel I "know" or "understand," which I never did before. The best example I can think of is: imagine there is a huge warehouse, which is dark, and you live in this warehouse with one flashlight. Everything you know about this warehouse is seen through the light of this one small flashlight. Whenever you want to look for something, you may or may not find it, but it does not mean the thing does not exist. It is there, but you just haven't flashed your light on it. You can only see what your light is focused on. Then one day, someone flicks on a light switch, and for the first time, you can see the whole warehouse. The vastness of it is almost overwhelming, you can't see all the way to the end, and you know there is more there than what you can see. But you do see how all the products are lined up on all the shelves. And you notice just how many different things there are now in the warehouse which you never noticed before, which you never even conceived of having existed before, yet they do, simultaneously with the things you already knew existed (those are the things your flashlight had been able to find). Then, even when the light switch goes back off, nothing can take away the understanding and clarity of your experience. Even though you are back to one flashlight, you now know how to look for things. You know what is possible, and you even know what to look for. You start viewing things differently, and it is from this new springboard that your experiences start to happen. And so I find that in my daily life, I am referring to different aspects of my experience at different times, and I am understanding things in a different way, and knowing things I did not know I knew.

During my near-death experience I saw all people as "energy", and depending on where our energy level was, that was the world we created for ourselves. The understanding I gained from this was that if cancer was not in our "energy", then it was not in our reality. If feeling good about ourselves was in our energy, then our reality would be positive. If cancer was in our energy, then even if we eradicated it with modern medicine, it would come back. But if we cleared it from our energy, the physical body would soon follow. None of us are as "real" or physical as we think we are. From what I saw, it looked like we are energy first, and that the physical is only an expression of our energy. And, therefore, we can change our physical reality if we change our energy. (Some people have mentioned I use the term "Vibration"). For me, personally, I was made to feel that in order to keep my energy/vibration level up, I only had to live in the moment, enjoy every moment of life, and use each moment to elevate the next moment (which then elevates my future). It is in that moment of elevating your energy level that you can change your future. With this knowledge you can create our own heaven or hell here on earth. It sounds very simplistic, but it felt very deep when I was experiencing the understanding of it.

When I was in the NDE state, it felt like I had woken up to a different reality. It felt like I had awoken from the "illusion" of life, and from that perspective, it looked like my physical life was just a culmination of my thoughts and beliefs up to that point. It felt like the whole world was just a culmination of mass consciousness - that is, the culmination of everyone's thoughts and beliefs.

And another thing is that, there was this incredible understanding of how we are all interconnected. And how what I felt within me affects my whole universe. It felt like the whole universe is within me. As far as I am concerned, if I am happy, the universe is happy. If I love myself, everyone else will love me. If I am at peace, the whole universe is peaceful. And so on.

My view of the world has been totally blown apart. I've had doctors telling me, over and over, that what happened to me is completely unexplainable. Medically, it should not be possible. They can't figure out where the billions of cancer cells went in just a matter of days. Medically, every way they look at it, I should have died. My organs were shut down. Either the cancer should have killed me, the drugs should have killed me, or the billions of cancer cells trying to leave, flooding my shut-down system, should have killed me.

In view of what physically happened to me, I am no longer able to see any physical disability in the same light anymore! Where, in my own mind, would I draw the line between what is "fixable" or "curable" and what is not? By what scale or logic would I draw these conclusions from? Certainly not from what is "medically" possible! I can't apply that to my life anymore. The word "impossible" has no meaning to me anymore. The boundaries of what is possible or not is very shady to me.

I look at everything in our reality, including things like illness and aging, so differently. I challenge anything that is considered "natural" or "normal." To me now, everything feels like a human construct – that is, just another product of personal and mass belief.

The NDE gave me the last "push" I needed to see beyond the illusion. And once I saw that the body is not the real me, and that the cancer was also just an illusion, I was then able to see how loved I am, and I recognized my own magnificence. And once I made the decision to live, the physical body only reflected this "new found" state.

I'm sure there are people who are at exactly the right place internally for such a shift to take place. And they don't have to have an NDE for this to happen. Perhaps all they need to do is to bring into their awareness what is possible. And perhaps, just by the fact that something like this has happened to me, I can be the catalyst for such an awareness to be brought into their reality.

I believe that once people are willing to expand their minds to let in such occurrences into their own reality, it may even trigger off further inner work to allow for such a shift to happen within them. I don't believe everyone has to have something as drastic as an NDE to see such miracles occur. Perhaps just a willingness to let go of beliefs which may be holding them back.

From that state, where this life looked like an illusion, it looked like our strong attachment to certain beliefs is what holds the illusion in place. Perhaps a willingness to look at and let go of beliefs that may be holding us back could help us to move forward faster, as a mass consciousness.

From the perspective of the spiritual dimension, it really felt like nothing is real, only our beliefs about them make them so. Now knowing that, I review what I believe, and only hold on to what serves to expand my life, and let go of anything that feels restricting, or doesn't make me feel positive in any way.

I feel that once you start believing that something is possible, you start to let it into your awareness, and then it starts to become true for you. The more you believe it, the more it starts to become real for you. This is why it is so very important to believe in positive things, rather than negative things. Whatever you believe, you will find that you are correct. The universe has a way of presenting to you exactly what you believe. If you think life is great, you are correct. If you think life is tough, you will be proved correct too.

My own personal intention is to bring to people's awareness what our human body is capable of doing, so that they can let it into their belief system. The more people start to believe it, the more we will start to see this kind of thing happening.

For example, a miracle is only labeled such because it is an event outside of our belief system. Once we see it happen, we can start to believe it. Once we start to believe it, it can then enter into our own reality and happen more and more often. It's as simple as that.

I feel that the Universe is within me, that the external world is only a reflection of my internal world.

A lot of people say that the world is very negative, but that's not exactly true. Look around you. EVERYTHING exists simultaneously in this universe, the positive as well as the negative. There is poverty, there is wealth, there is sickness, there is health, there is love, and there is hatred and fear, and there is happiness and there is despair, and so on. And there is NOT more negative than positive. It's just because we choose to see the world in this way, that it feels like there is more negative. And the more we choose to see it this way, and give it our focus and energy, the more of it we draw into our lives, and create it in our own personal reality.

I believe that this reality is created by mass consciousness. That's what I felt I broke through, during my NDE. Each of us as individuals ALWAYS has the choice to choose what we want to see and believe as reality.

If you are frustrated with the way life is working for you, it is futile to change the external elements without looking at what's going on internally. A lot of us are very negative towards ourselves. We are our own worst enemies. The first thing I would say is to stop judging yourself and stop beating yourself up for where you are in your life right now. If I am finding that I am constantly frustrated with people and judging them, it is because that is how I am internally treating myself all the time. I am only expressing outwardly my own inner dialogue to myself. The more I love myself unconditionally, the easier it is for me to see beauty in this world, and beauty in others.

If I can love myself and not judge myself, and see my own perfection, then I will automatically see all these in others! And the more I love myself, the more love I will have for others. It's not possible to love another more than you love yourself. Contrary to popular belief that it's selfish to love yourself, this is just not true. We cannot give what we do not have.

No matter where you are, it is only the culmination of your thoughts and beliefs up to that point. And you can change it. Remember, I reversed my cancer at the 11th hour. Even when the doctors said it was too late, it was still not too late. So the first thing is to realize that it is NEVER too late to do something, or change anything. It's important to see the power that the present moment holds in turning our life around.

If you believe in things like "like attracts like" then the absolute best way to attract what's best for you is to love yourself to the point where you are filled with love, and will only attract to your life everything that confirms this belief about yourself. It's actually very simple, really.

Each day, I learn to love myself unconditionally.

Also, let me explain that there is a difference between "being loving" and "being love." Being loving means giving love to another whether you have any for yourself or not. It means giving what you yourself may or may not even have to give. This type of giving of love can eventually drain you, because we don't always have a limitless supply. And then we look to the other to replenish our pool of love, and if it is not forthcoming, we stop being loving ourselves, because we are exhausted.

Being love, on the other hand, means loving myself unconditionally so that it overflows, and anyone and everyone around me just becomes an automatic recipient of my love. The more I love myself, the more it flows out to others. It almost feels like being a vessel for love to flow through. When I am being love, I don't need people to behave a certain way in order for them to be a recipient of my love. They are automatically getting my love as a result of me loving myself. So to stop being love, to me, means to stop loving myself. Hence, I will not stop being love on account of another.

I feel it's my self-dialogue that either elevates or diminishes the energy I radiate outwards. When my inner dialogue is turned against me, over time, it depletes my energy, and causes a downward spiral in my external circumstances. I used to be always really, really positive on the outside, effervescent, loving, etc. etc. and still my world was crumbling around me, and I was getting depleted, and sicker and sicker.

Sometimes, when we see someone who is really positive and effervescent and kind, yet their lives are crumbling around them we may think, "see, this being positive thing doesn't work". But see, here's the thing. WE DON'T KNOW that person's own inner dialogue. We don't know what they are telling themselves, inside their own heads, day in and day out.

Remember, I am not advocating "thinking positive" in a Pollyanna-ish sort of way. "Thinking positive" can be tiring, and to some people it can mean "suppressing" the negative stuff that happens. And it ends up being more draining.

I am talking about my own mental dialogue to myself, what am I telling myself, day in and day out inside my head. I feel it's so very important not to have judgment and fear in my own mental dialogues to myself. When our own inner dialogue is telling us we are safe, unconditionally loved, accepted, we then radiate this energy outwards and change our external world accordingly.

I also think it is very important to see perfection in the moment. The present moment is very powerful. Each moment holds promise, and each moment can be a turning point for the rest of your life.

I am often misunderstood when I say that each moment is perfect. And that everything is perfect. People are afraid of seeing perfection in a situation that is not of their liking, thinking that seeing perfection means not changing it. To me, seeing perfection does not mean keeping the situation static. It means seeing perfection in exactly where you are in your journey right now, no matter where that may be. Seeing perfection in the journey. Seeing perfection in the becoming. Seeing perfection in the value of the mistakes as you are becoming. Seeing perfection in the moment, wherever in the journey that moment might be. That is seeing perfection. And you will see it reflected back to you in the world.

You want to know the best part about feeling this positive energy about yourself? I don't feel I even have to say anything to anyone to uplift them, but just because of my own loving self-talk to myself, people around me feel my positive presence. Without even having to say anything, you will start to notice people being attracted to your positive presence, and be energized by your energy. Your positive inner dialogue helps elevate others around you even when you are not saying anything to them, just thinking positive thoughts about yourself!!!! Because energy just radiates and flows out and touches others!! This is why this self-loving inner dialogue is so very important in making a better world.

Have you noticed that there are people who just seem to light up a room when they walk in? Or people you just notice, even in a crowd, because they are just radiating energy? You can bet that they have a very positive and strong self-image and are running some very positive internal self-dialogue programs.

What are we internally telling ourselves each and every day? Are we just beating ourselves up, and judging ourselves? Are we too hard on ourselves, and are we our own worst enemy? That's the real work!! I feel we must start by changing that inner dialogue, by loving ourselves more and more, and then, even without having to say or do anything to anyone, the whole outer world changes to reflect that inner world. I have really noticed my physical world and others around me reflecting this.

I feel that we connect with others when we are in touch with a universal connection. Let's say, for the sake of argument, I am able to telepathically communicate with you. What has happened is that I have cleared my mind and made it more transparent and become more connected to that universal oneness, and you are doing the same thing. So, you and I are sort of accessing the same pool of "oneness" info. But the reason it feels like mind-to-mind communication is because here in the physical, we are both communicating and connecting on the mind level. But because we are both accessing the same info at the same time from that oneness pool, and then when we use our minds to communicate with each other, we notice we have both come to the same conclusion, and then we interpret it as our minds have communicated to each other. But actually, we've both tapped into the same "oneness" pool. That's how it feels to me.

This is why I feel it is important to keep clearing the attachments of the mind, and make it more open to being connected to this oneness. And then the people who are appropriate for us will connect with us because they will be at the same level of this clarity, and will be accessing this same oneness pool from the same level we are. People who are closed are walking around in a fog, colliding with others who are also in the same fog, and they are fumbling and struggling along with life. Whereas those with the clarity are transparent, and practically walk right through the ones in the fog. And no one can bump into them or derail them, because they are so transparent and light in their energy. That's kind of how it feels like to me.

During my NDE it felt like I had awoken to a state that went beyond mass consciousness, and that the life I had been living up to that point was just an illusion/dream created by my thoughts and beliefs and also a culmination of mass consciousness. It was in this clarity that I saw that even my cancer was part of the illusion, caused by my mind and who I believed I was up to that point in time. I saw that who I truly am is a perfect and powerful magnificent spiritual being. I understood that no one on this planet is more or less spiritual than another. It's just whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.

And now, I can't seem to live my life in any other way than with this knowing that there is nothing to forgive, nothing to judge, (these are all part of the illusion - mass consciousness beliefs). And I now feel that "God" is something that is within me, within you, and within every living creature on this planet. So how can we not be perfect?

I feel that the physical world is set up for us to see imperfection, especially in ourselves. However, the more I look through that "illusion" and can recognize my own magnificence and express it, and the more perfection I see in myself, the more wonderfully I am seeing my life unfold. Remember, I am not saying to look for perfection in the world. I am saying, look for perfection in yourself, in your journey and in your becoming. And you will see it reflected back to you in the world. Life has become easier, and I have become much more loving as a result. That is how I see beyond this "illusion."

My purpose is BEING. And that is different from being HERE. The focus is different. When the focus is on being here, we can get lost here. The physical world is full of "other people's versions" of life. Whereas when the purpose is BEING, it means being YOU, and only subscribing to YOUR version of life (or creating your version of life). To me, it means being an expression of exactly who I am.

When we "pursue" externally, we seem to see the world as being competitive and limited, and we use external measures to judge our achievements. To me, herein lies the illusion. There is no limited supply of "beingness." We seem to measure our "beingness" by the achievement of goals. I don't, and neither do most people who are happy. My point is to shift your views. See the magnificence in your being whether you are rich, or poor, physically impaired or not, with the one you love, or not, and so on.

I am now just focused on being, and am now the creator of my life - that is, the artist of my life. I don't any more sit and think about the external competition. Each of us is unique, with unique traits and talents. I only have to express my own "beingness" and "uniqueness." A true artist doesn't really care about whether there is anyone who can create as well as or better than he. He is too busy expressing himself, purely for the purpose of expressing. He has found something within, and is only expressing his inner beauty, and the world shares in it. The more inner beauty you uncover and express, the more the universe shares in it and reflects it back to you.

I now live my life knowing that I can create my own reality based on these new truths that I have learned.

To read about what is at least 2500 other near-death experiences, please visit www.nderf.org. And to listen to radio interviews of Anita Moorgani , as well as to see pictures of her and her husband, please visit Anita's website at www.anitamoorjani.com Similar information about changing one's energy to promote healing, and to even change the world, can be found in books about the powers of mind & thought, such as You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, Your Body Believes Every Word You Say, by Barbara Levine, The Energy of Belief, by Bender & Sise, and Frequency: The Power of Personal Vibration, by Penney Peirce, to name just a few books in this new field of Energy Psychology.

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